Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
P. S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P. S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
Would ya fuck me for blow?
The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope
"A" is for "Apple"
"B" is for "Balloons"
"C" is for "Crayons"
"D" is for "Drum"
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me
I liked me so much I had to buy the company
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
Conclusions you drew proportions you blew
Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Three Point One Four
My last girlfriend didn t like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn t excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn t that bright
My mistake she was flakier than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her L now she s a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spreads your legs or spread the word
So what if I am not the smartest peanut in the turt
I am white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I am looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play harmonica with their pussies?
Like em easy and hot and sweet like a rice krispie treat gee
You know what I really want in a girl? ME!
I need to find a new vagina
Any kinda new vagina
It s hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kelvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina
Women are like dog doo hear me through don t interrupt
It s just the older that they are the easier to get to pick up
I d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain t gague I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
Won t have take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like sizzler she got a beef we ll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don t play rough
No I can t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafolo
She d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her widsom of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I really want in a girl? ME!
I need to find a new vagina
Any kinda new vagina
It s hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein? Kind of North Carolina
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house
But I can't so here's where you come in
Giving it "Diff'rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond
Hummin' hmm hmm good like Campbell's
And you'll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi
They call him Ralph Mouth 'cause he's down on Potsie
Rocky chasing the chicken
Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin'
Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission
You go down for the count I countdown ignition
Blast off you're a rocket scientist
A genius what I mean is you suck at this
So escargot 'cause my snail needs Frenchin'
You must be five stars cause my staff's at full attention
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Dinner for one I know you got your reservations
Starvation like a Third World Nation
So do it for the children and I'll make a donation
My fly's in your eyes let me rise to the occasion
In my Underoos I tend to be brief
So when you're sinking your teeth deep into my beef
You can fondle but it's kind of like McDonald's realize it's
Just a Happy Meal so you can't Super Size it
Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it
Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included
But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana
To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana
So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss
'Til it's Chubby like Checker c'mon baby do the twist
It's all in the wrist like table tennis
So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot
Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken.
And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.
